Why You Fear Being Seen Online
(And Why That Fear Makes Perfect Sense)
Like many specialists and creatives out there, you want to share your knowledge with as many people as possible.
You know your craft. You’ve spent time building real expertise. And deep down, you genuinely want to help others.
You feel the urge to say something meaningful. To show up online. To offer what’s in your heart in a way that might land with the right person at the right time. And maybe you even know exactly what you want to say.
But every time you get close to pressing publish – or even thinking about publishing content – something tightens.
Yup, before you know it, your stomach clenches and your throat closes. You start overthinking the title, the image, the text – all, as if your very life depends on sharing the *perfect* piece of content.
But not just that. Worse even: you picture someone from your past finding that piece of content.
*GASP*
I mean, imagine their smirk when they see what you published online.
😅
But even though you know you’re not doing anything wrong by publishing something online, your body still screams:
“No, no no. We’re not ready to publish yet.”
Sounds familiar?
Good. Because in today’s post, we’re peeling back what’s actually going on when you fear showing up online – and how you can begin shifting that fear by understanding the real reason behind it.
You’re Not Broken, You’re Protected
When your body hesitates to be seen online, it’s not because you don’t care enough about your message to share it. It’s because somewhere in your past, visibility got connected with risk.
Right now, your body is saying:
“Please don’t let us be exiled, mocked, rejected, or misunderstood.”
Why? Because being seen doesn’t just mean being visible, it means being vulnerable. Open to ridicule, criticism, and bullying.
So if you ever were called “too sensitive”, if you ever were the weird one in your group, or if you ever were criticised for anything – how you walk, talk, felt, or expressed yourself – then of course your nervous system doesn’t trust the spotlight.
But even if you know better now, the wiring doesn’t really update itself overnight.
That’s not a flaw. That’s survival.
You’re not hiding. You’re protecting yourself until you feel safe enough to be real.
Why Being Seen Online Feels So Exposing
Let’s name the real fears under the fear:
- Being seen means you might be misunderstood – and you can’t control that.
- Being seen means people you know might develop new opinions about you – and they might not like you anymore.
- Being seen means you can’t hide behind potential anymore. You’re doing the thing – and that opens the door to failure or rejection.
- Being seen means you open your heart – and that can feel dangerous when your past experience trained you to keep it locked up.
All of these fears are not irrational. They’re perfectly normal in the sense that many people experience what you’re experiencing too.
They’re simply old protectors. And they are working overtime every time you reach for something brave. That’s why going into a battle against them sometimes feels like you lost the battle before it even begun.
So What Do You Do Instead?
You don’t push through it. You build safety within it.
When has pushing a part of yourself by rejecting, disowning, gaslighting, suppressing, or denying another part of yourself that screams “Danger! Danger!” proven to be a good strategy?
Probably never.
Why? Because those protective parts of you are not here to sabotage you and your success. They’re here to keep you alive – emotionally, socially, energetically.
So what’s the antidote?
Compassionate pacing.
Self-trust in tiny doses.
Proof that you can be seen… and still feel safe.
Here’s what I’ve learned and what you can do to build internal safety:
- Start anonymously if you need to.
You don’t owe anyone your full identity just to be valid. Let your ideas walk first. Let your presence follow when you’re ready. - Speak like you’re talking to one person, not “an audience”.
(Like I’m talking to you right now. Wink Wink.) Forget the audience, forget the algorithm. Just think about the one person who needed to hear this today. - Let soft steps count.
A faceless voiceover, a low-stakes blog post, a Pinterest pin, or a quote that means something to you – these are acts of self-trust too. They count. - Set your own pace.
If no one you know ever saw your post, would you feel safer publishing it? If the answer is yes, go for it! Don’t confuse visibility with overexposure. - Say to yourself:
“I can delete it later. But today, I give myself permission to try.”
Showing up doesn’t mean being fearless.
It means being brave in small, sustainable ways.
Ways your nervous system can believe.
You Are Allowed to Go Slow
You don’t need to be loud to be powerful.
You don’t need to be perfect to be valuable.
You don’t need to be fearless to be visible.
You are allowed to go slow.
You are allowed to say,
“I’m not hiding. I’m healing.”
And that’s why I’m taking this one step at a time.
You can listen to your own inner pacing – not the internet’s urgency – and act accordingly.
There is no set formula that says,
“Post X number of times and you’ll be free from fear forever.”
That’s not how nervous systems work. That’s not how healing works.
You are allowed to be a little scared and still show up anyway.
You are allowed to let your nervous system catch up to your ambition. To your vision. To your voice.
And you are absolutely allowed to believe that your voice has value – even before the whole world hears it.
So if you’re scared to be seen right now? That’s okay.
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re simply learning how to be visible…
without abandoning yourself in the process.
And that?
That’s not just brave.
That’s something worth practicing.
